Ladies love me, girls adore me. I mean even the ones who never saw me
like the way that I rhyme at a show. The reason why, man, I don't know. So let's go, 'cause...
THE BLOG WHERE IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE A THING GO RIGHT, IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE IT OUTTA SIGHT
What is up kids?
i'll tell you what's barely up, and that's your not so humble narrator miguel jose. Man i am BEAT! i work Sunday's now at my new job so by Tuesday i'm already 3 days deep into work. For real, i feel like i could use a vacation!
"Really? A vacation you lazy basterd? You were literally just unemployed for a little over 3 years, and now after working for only a few weeks you think you are owed a VACATION??? Who the hell do you think you are?"
Well i could be a Republican congressman! Because with all of the horrific stuff going on in the world they've done a great job of passing zero laws and getting nothing done but trying to repeal Obamacare and trying to sue the President because they're a bunch of loser cry baby racist aholes who openly don't care about the values of the American public. i'd be perfect for that job!
- So the thing i like most about all of the "Coke" memes on the interwebs is that i can copy and paste them all on my blog and then reap the benefits of laughter that i have nothing to do with. It kills two birds with one stone, with one bird being laziness and the other bird being me writing a funny comedy blog. And yes i'm sure you noticed i didn't use the words "original"comedy blog. But yeah anyways enjoy these!
Not bad but we can do better!
A Great Name for a Punk Band! "The La La Lands" For real, that one is GENIUS!
"OLD SCHOOL" NONSENSE - Never, EVER ask a girl "Are you mad at me?" Or let me rephrase that, you should only ask a girl that if you never want to sleep with her ever. Girls HATE insecurity more then anything. And guys, you want to know the real reason why girls date a$$holes? Guys always think it's because they treat the girls like $hit, which is only true in the case of Italian girls. But girls date a$$holes because those guys are mad confident, and confidence is sexy. So again, never, EVER, ask a girl "Are you mad at me?" Or ignore what i'm telling you and go ahead and ask her that, i just hope that when she hates you and you end up alone last weekend pleasuring yourself in the shower crying in loneliness like this other Mexican/Domincan guy i know who has somewhat the same build as myself that you won't blame me!
And no i'm not talking about me jerks, the guy i'm talking about is named "Manuel" Jose and he DEFINITELY does not have a new job and/or write a blog...
Fast Food Tips - So i had to try it, and i literally made a trip at 1 am on a Monday night to go to the late night Wendy's drive thru by me and hook up one of those "Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburgers." And i have to say it was the MONEY. The burger actually had a decent flavor, the cheddar and bacon with the onions and lettuce tasted sensational, and the pretzel bun was a nice warm soft pretzel that made the burger taste fantastic. i enjoyed every second of that medium combo that i ate, but what i did not enjoy was after i was done i went into the bathroom and put my finger down my throat and puked it all up like a bulimic. i did that because A. i didn't want to try and go to sleep with that hugemongous meal inside me and i knew if i puked i'd feel better and B. i'm a maniac with awful eating habits and the fattest bulimic of all time.
Either way, this burger is great and since it's for a limited time only you should probably go get one the way i did. Just don't let it end up the same way! And yes i know you want to get the Pretzel Chicken Pub sandwich instead but don't do it, the Pretzel burger is better i promise.
Cya, @migueljose_85 on Twitter