THE BLOG ABOUT TURKEY FOR ME, TURKEY FOR YOU. LET'S EAT TURKEY IN A BIG BROWN SHOE
What is up kids?
i'll tell you what's up, i'm only writing ONE more blog in 2015! Holy $hitballs kids, by the time you're done stuffing every orifice in your body with stuffing and recovering at the hospital from the brutal wounds you got waiting in line for Toys R Us Black Friday sale the next thing you know you won't be hearing from me again until Baby New Year's tiny baby balls drop and it's 2016! Can this life move any faster, like Brian Regan says i submit that it cannot!
But we're EXTREMELY lucky to have the lives we have, like winning the lottery lucky. And instead of being miserable about the things that you don't have please try and appreciate and realize how many people have it WAY worse. And if you do, hopefully you'll understand just how lucky we are to enjoy these holidays. As well as how lucky you all are to have me to let you know about this fact in my comedy blog! Hooray for me! Mi-guel!
- So apparently Donald Trump is okay with starting a database to register all Muslims in this country, and predictably after making that remark his polling numbers have risen with the KKK. Wait, i'm sorry. i meant his polling numbers have risen with the Republican party. Although now that i think about it i'm guessing my comment about the KKK is also accurate. Anyways, here's my question. For all of the people who want the Muslim community to come out and denounce those that are committing HORRIFIC acts in the name of Islam, is there a reason you don't also expect Republicans to call out their racist and ignorant candidates who straight up want to treat Muslim refugees like they were Jews during the holocaust?
i mean i realize that many of you get angry that the majority of the Muslim community that is peaceful doesn't constantly call out their more extreme members. Yet you also seem fine with bags of douche like Chris Christie saying he wouldn't accept Syrian refugees under 5 years old who are seeking help, and you also seem okay with Trump wanting all Muslims to register in a database as well as carry some sort of ID stating their religion so we can keep an eye on them. So if you're going to sit back and say NOTHING as your racist leaders promote very Nazi-esque ideas then maybe you should look in the mirror to see what a true racist hypocrite looks like.
And what a great name for a food, "stuffing". They didn't even bother trying to describe what the actual food is, they must have started eating it and said "holy $hitballs this food is good! i can't stop stuffing my gddamn f*cking face with this deliciousness! What should we call this motherf*cking fantastic food?" "i say we call this $hit "stuffing" because who cares what it is, we can't stop stuffing our fat f*cking faces with this orgasmic f*cking amazingness! So "stuffing" it is!" I'm pretty sure that's exactly how that conversation went down at the first Thanksgiving, and it's funny to think that that is LITERALLY how the name "stuffing" entered our vocabulary. And people think history is boring...
And that's it for me today kids! Does it feel like i drop that White Castle slider bit every Thanksgiving blog? It should, because i do it every time. And if i got just one single reader to start this as a tradition then i've done my job! And by job i mean i've helped make you ruin both your health and your life with delicious yet poor decisions.
But have a great week, and i'll see you kids next week for the last blog of the year! As well as my last blog as a single man!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone from my family to yours!
And see you next Tuesday for the LAST blog of the year!